we had a pact, for crying out loud! February 7, 2011Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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I don’t know how I get myself into these messes. But sometimes a girl just needs her TV spoilers and can’t wait to get em! No, no, I haven’t read the Bachelor spoilers (yet) but I did read the Idol top 40 spoilers out of Hollywood. I’m ashamed. But we’ll deal with that on Wednesday night. For now, it’s The Bachelor!
Listen, at this point, it’s Emily’s game to lose. Chantal may pull a Pittsburgh Steelers and make a comeback right at the end, but I really don’t see many of these girls making it much farther. Tonight we got to see Brad take the girls on all sorts of adventures through Costa Rica, as he led them through waterfalls and down zip lines, and and the girls fell in “love” with him the way I fell in ‘”love” with camp counselors growing up. It’s getting “real” now, in case you missed the memo.
So for the first time, Brad held back from giving a rose on a one-on-one date, and that was the last we saw of Alli the fashion consultant. (Let’s just remember he is 14 years older than she is…so this outcome wasn’t completely shocking).
But, after sending Alli home, Brad pulled a Jake Pavelka leaning over the balcony’s edge – he just needs some down time, don’t you know. And psycho Michelle 2.0 came to rescue him. Say what you will about her, but she’s good TV people. And in the end, isn’t that all we’re really looking for?
I don’t know friends, it seems like all I’m doing this season is waiting for the next episode. But the next episode always feels like it has to be better than the current one.
Until Wednesday, when I’ll confess all my Idol spoiler sins.
Vegas, Baby! February 1, 2011Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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Last summer, I had the privilege of spending an entire week in Vegas. It was, well, awesome. I love Vegas. Love love love Vegas. So as you can imagine, I was totally geeked out when I found out that’s where The Bachelor was heading!
On Brad’s first one-on-one, he chose Shawntel (again, not to be confused with Chantal) to give a shopping spree in Vegas’ nicest mall. Giving her, as one other girl put it, the Pretty Woman moment every girl dreams of. Which left me wondering if she had ever actually seen the movie, and whether she thought being a prostitute would be worth all of those free clothes. And then at dinner, she chose to spend it filling Brad in on how to embalm a body. Embalm a body. Probably not the best topic of conversation for your first date? Just throwing it out there.
And then, in a risky move, the Bachelor producers sent Brad on a group date to the Vegas Nascar track, where Emily’s late husband was in a crash that ended his racing career. It was either risky or a big jerk move. To be honest, I’m leaning toward big jerk move. Brad had no idea her late husband was a race car driver, but those producers knew every last detail, I’m sure. But she handled the whole situation beautifully, and I’d be completely shocked if she doesn’t make it to the top 3 at this point.
And then good ol’ Brad took out the BFF Ashleys for the “dreaded 2 on 1 date.” Which means, as Chris Harrison so eloquently put it, 2 girls, one rose, one stays, one goes. BOOM. This was suprising to me, as both of these girls were early frontrunners – with one receiving the first one-on-one date, and the other receiving the first impression rose. Unfortunately for Ashley #2, the curse of the first one-on-one date did not hold true, and Ashley #1 claimed the rose, sending the other Ashley home to cry an ugly cry while “Are you lonesome tonight?” played over the clips of the rest of her crying and the rest of Brad and Ashley #1’s date.
I’ll be honest, this was a pretty boring episode (with the exception of Emily’s fiasco) and the two other girls sent home had gotten about 4 seconds of screen time combined. Thus, the boring blog. Steven Tyler would be so disappointed in me.
But now, we’re down to 8 girls, and things are going to get frisky, ASAP.
On the Line with Dr. Meg January 24, 2011Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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Welcome Back, Bachelor lovers! Let’s get right to it, shall we?
So tonight we started out the night with Chantal (not to be confused with Shawntel) on a one-on-one date, where she and Brad
killed a bunch of coral walked on the ocean floor. And in their time in a pagoda by a swanky hotel pool, Brad said it felt like any other day for him – very real. How many nights have you spend walking on the ocean floor and lounging in a pool pagoda? Just checking. Brad did say he wished he could grab Chantal’s hand and run away with her right then. Which bodes well for our girl Chantal. (I’m a fan, personally.) Really loved when Brad pulled the “would you accept the damn rose?” line. THAT felt very real.
And then on the group date nine of the girls went On the Line with Dr. Drew! And Mike. (?). Which I view as a totally positive thing – once Brad totally spurns all of them, including Brit and her blush, and it sends them into a tailspin that they didn’t find Reality TV love and they turn instead to the bottle, Dr. Drew will already have a basis with which to work on Celebrity Rehab. Ashley totally blew her shot at the rose and he instead gave it to Brit. Brit who admitted to Brad that he made her nervous when they talked (but not nervous enough to stick her tongue down his throat).
And then it was time for our second one-on-one of the episode with Psycho Michelle 2.0. Who “beat herself up” in her sleep. And by “beat herself up” I believe she means, “was putting on some purple eyeshadow and like totally missed!”
So on this one on one date, Brad tried to throw her off a building in downtown LA, but failed. Damn bungees.
No, I kid, I kid. So they rappelled off of a building.
I hestitate to draw any Ali/Roberto and Jake/Vienna comparisons here, because I hate hate hate this 2.0, but this date was remarkably similar to both first dates of those pairs. That’s a scary thought, no? Although it’s pretty much an exact replica of a Kiptyn/Jillian date, and Jillian totally screwed him over and picked stupid stupid Ed. Jillian! Moron! YOU SHOULD HAVE PICKED KIPTYN!
Someday I’ll let that go. But not today.
So at the cocktail party, my oh my, Brad shocked me, I have to say, by pulling out a picnic basket with a blanket and wine for Mother Teresa Barbie. In front of all the girls. Ballsy, I have to say. This sent the house into a tizzy as the rest of the girls wondered why they were even there, as Brad and Emily were already in love. (This is week 3, ladies. Cool it.) Chantal definitely knocked herself down a few pegs on my scale when she had her little meltdown. But she’s still near the top of my list. Especially because she was the reason Brad said the line “come here to me, then!” which made me a little weak in the knees, I’m not gonna lie. But then he pulled it again after the rose ceremony with one of the roseless girls and totally ruined it for me.
I need a hobby.
And so, tonight, we said goodbye to Meghan, Stacey, who’s skirt was way too short for anyone’s good, and Lindsay, who will be running for your next Miss Texas and who’s father is going to be so proud of her. For raising her to be the girl he and her mother taught her to be.
Her words, not mine.
Until next week, Bachelor-ettes!
Two Buck Chuck January 17, 2011Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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You know what I don’t understand? I don’t understand how I find cooking dinner tedious, so I instead cut up an avocado, mash it, dice an onion, mince some garlic and mix it all up to have guacamole for dinner. I don’t understand how I don’t want to spend the money for brand name cereal – cereal – but I’ll buy New Kids on the Block concert tickets in a second. I don’t understand how all these girls on the Bachelor think weeping on their first date with Brad is a good idea. But I guess if this is going to be the most dramatic Bachelor ever! I should’ve expected the tears.
On an unrelated note, I wish you all could’ve been in my living room last night watching the Golden Globes with me. I was cracking myself up! And it would be way less lame if I wasn’t sitting here by myself eating guacamole and ice cream instead of dinner. But darn it if I wasn’t flippin’ hysterical. Or maybe it was the Two Buck Chuck. (Thank you, Trader Joe).
Should we be concerned the vampire cried like three times this episode? I mean, should we get some garlic or say some Hail Mary’s or something? What happens when a vampire cries?! I haven’t read the Twilight series! Disaster.
And I’d like to take this opportunity just to point out, yet again, she thinks she’s a freaking vampire.
Brad’s date with Emily (“Barbie with a Mother Theresa soul” if you’re keeping track) was Awkward with a capital A for the first little while, but when she finally cracked and told Brad the story of how her husband (boyfriend?) died and then she found out she was pregnant with his child made the whole thing about as real as a reality show can get. And I’ll be darned if she doesn’t make it Top 3.
After an extended session with Brad’s therapist (should we be watching this? Is there no such thing as doctor/patient privilege these days?) we were onto the cocktail party, where the psychos were out in full force:
“I wrapped myself up like a present, so I could open myself up to you.”
“We’re in a fight.”
“We’re in a fight? Why are we in a fight?”
“Like, this is our first fight.”
“Wait, wait, already? Oh no.”
“I shared my first kiss with you, and then I found you kissed Chantal. And Chantel.”
“I did. I kissed two Chantal’s.”
“You don’t have to take your fangs out, I like those fangs.”
And so, in the end, in addition to losing Madison (the Vampire…vampiress?), who left of her own free will, we lost Kimberly (who?) and Sarah P. (who I’d honestly never seen before, but is one of the ugliest criers I’ve witnessed). Rejection does suck, Sarah P., but mascara running all down your face sucks just as much. Wipe that off, honey.
Alright fellow Bachelor lovers, check back on Wednesday when we jump back into the Idol universe feet first with one hand on the keyboard and the other holding a glass of white zin. Holla.
there was zero choreography! ZERO! January 10, 2011Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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There aren’t many benefits of being sick, if there are any at all. But if there is, it’s that you get to watch TV all day long and no one asks any questions about it. They encourage it, even. I never really got sick this past weekend, but I felt like I was about to, so I fought it off by watching Human Target and Mad Men like it’s my job. I learned the hard way a week or two ago I can’t watch only Mad Men, because it depresses me and makes me want to lay on my couch, smoke a cigarette and drink scotch. And none of those are good things. Which is why tonight’s episode of The Bachelor couldn’t be better timed.
On Brad’s first one-on-one date, he brought Ashley H. (fun and healthy gums!) out into the middle of nowhere, made her walk through the “woods” in the complete pitch black (lit only by 4 production trucks) to a carnival made just for them! It’s either The Bachelor or it’s a low budget horror film – you decide.
I will say, however, their first kiss was super cute and surprising. Even if it did come before the “so, now who are you again?” discussion. Unlike Jake “big pile of rocks” Pavelka, I’m more than willing to cut Brad some slack. Maybe it’s because he seems very real, or maybe it’s because I think he’s a dreamboat, but when he cries, I believe him. His conversation that night with Ashley felt very real, even if it took place in a very obviously staged scene from carnival hell. I can say that – I used to be a carnie.
On the group date (with 15 (!) girls) Brad and the girls got to shoot some PSA’s for the American Red Cross, encouraging people to give blood. I can just see the ABC intern now, shaking in his cubicle, trying to figure a way to give Fang Girl relevance. She has fangs.
Hey guys! Make Brad take the Fang Girl on a date where they’re trying to encourage people to give blood! That’ll seem totally natural!
And then for dinner that night – this entire rooftop is only for us! 16 of us on a rooftop. 2 of us get an entire carnival, but the 16 of us can sit on these 2 couches, right?
Before I continue whining about the “drama” that is produced by this show, I’d like to use this as a teaching moment.
Many times in life, people will say, “I’m nervous, but excited!” or some version of that. Whenever I hear that, I crack up. No one understands why. So when I heard one of the girls talking about her impending fake kiss with Brad and say, “I’m nervous, but it’s exciting” I had to take pause. This way I know that at least all of you faithful blog readers will understand why I find that line absolutely hysterical. It’s because of this.
Thank you for letting me share that. I feel relieved.
This chick Melissa is a hot mess. A of all, I have to imagine there are hairstylists running all over that mansion and you can’t find time in between the pool and the hot tub to get a root touch up? At least wake up in time before the cocktail party to shower. B of all, not the best idea to use your age as a means to win a battle with the “ladies.” In Bachelor-land, younger is the new young, dontcha know.
Even if it was contrived and kind of dumb (and that’s on top of what normally goes on) I loved seeing Ali and her better half, Roberto. I mean, I wasn’t the biggest Ali fan, but I give her mad props for the way she did her finale and respected Chris L. enough to not put him through the final rose ceremony.
And major props to Brad for just getting rid of both of the drama queens who were warring with each other in the house. Not in your house, Brad! Not in the house ABC rented for you to find “love” in!
(Anyone else question it when the Rockette said “I’ve done the online dating thing…I’ve done the dating people at work thing.” Who did she date at work? Santa? She’s a freaking rockette. Mrs. Clause isn’t going to be too happy about that.)
oh.my.gosh.brad.womack. January 3, 2011Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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He’s back! I’m back! The Bachelor contemplative scenes are back! It must be January!!
I’ve been spending my time with Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg (Blue Bloods), Jon Hamm and January Jones (Mad Men), and brushing up on my cooking chops with the Food Network. But now it’s back to my bread and butter – classic “reality” TV.
You knew it was going to be a good season when one of the first quotes of the season was “And if all the stars are aligned, the Bachelor will be buried in Chico.”
A manscaper. A vampire. A candlestick maker.
OK so not so much on the candlestick maker. But if I gave you the choice of three, that’d be the most believable, no?
Let’s table the discussion on these girls. And let me say first, it’s good to be back! Between The Bachelor and American Idol, it’s the most wonderful time of the year! But in the interest of full disclosure: I did not watch Brad’s season of The Bachelor. I saw a few episodes, I had roommates that watched regularly, and I read up on what went down at the end of that season. So if any of you out there are Brad Womack haters, keep that in mind when you read the following:
I kind of sort of love Brad. While my skirt definitely did not fly up at the thought of a dude getting another season to live in a house full of “women,” I think he’s cute, I melt when he talks, I believe him when he cries, and I recently read that he loves to curl up on the couch under a blanket with his girl and watch TV. And in case you haven’t caught on, the only think I like more than watching TV is a man who likes watching TV.
So I don’t have the history with him, but from all I’ve read of Chris Harrison’s blog and other things, Brad truly is a ‘changed man.’ And frankly, if you recall, the last Bachelor we had made a stack of bricks look interesting, so I’m looking forward to this season. Halfway through the introductions I realized I was smiling and couldn’t stop it. Was I well into a second glass of wine? Sure. But that’s neither here nor there.
So the first episode is done, and there’s not much to say, other than if you didn’t guess who would receive the first impression rose from the first time she showed up on screen, you should really brush up on your Reality TV Producer’s Tricks Handbook. Don’t have one? Well, that’s what I’m here for.
Stick around, because the rest of this week, I’ll be posting my Top 5 (or so) moments of 2010 TV. It’s going to be good.
summer breeze makes me feel fine July 12, 2010Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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As you can probably tell, I’m taking a bit of a blogging break for the summer. There’s just too much fun to be had. I have, however, been watching PLENTY of TV during those summer storms. So quickly, I thought I’d fill you in:
1. I’m rooting for Chris L. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Roberto, but Chris L. is my guy. Frank is a psycho and Kirk…eh. Ali is obnoxious and also a little psycho. So maybe Frank’s the man.
2. I’ve been getting into reruns of the first season of The Good Wife. Because I needed something else to watch during my winter weeks…but I’m liking it more than I expected. This one time I was a part of this TV focus group in Las Vegas (no I’m not making this up) and they showed us the trailers for the Good Wife and asked us what we thought, and I believe that I wrote something mean trying to be witty; and, I’ll admit, I would take it back now. I would now, however, take back my statement regarding NCIS: LA that Hollywood was getting lazy.
3. Now that I’m into this, I do kind of miss blogging. Didn’t think I did. Interesting.
4. I bought a dresser today at the Salvation Army so I could refurb it and make it my TV stand. Just wanted you to know.
5. The new premieres of Psych and White Collar start this week and that makes my heart happy. Almost as happy as Breyer’s cookie dough ice cream. Maybe even more so – and that’s saying a lot.
6. My friend/co-worker and I have started watching Gilmore Girls during our lunch break. That also makes my heart happy.
7. Boy Meets World is on ABC Family every morning from 7-8. This, my friends, is why God gave us DV-Rs.
Hope you’re living it up this summer! See you in the fall, if not sooner. You guys are great.
greenland is full of ice…iceland is very nice June 21, 2010Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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Thaaaaat’s right, I just quoted the Mighty Ducks and feeling pretty awesome.
OK so this is a big week. It’s VACA week!! I’ve been dreaming of this week for MONTHS now, and it is upon me. Which is awesome, except for one minor issue: I have to pack.
I hate packing. Almost as much as I hate the rain. I start thinking about how to pack and what to pack weeks before I leave. All that to say, this episode was perfectly timed, because my dining room table is covered in half of my earthly possessions that I might need to pack. Woof. Send help.
But Iceland is calling and I must respond!
I don’t know that I’ve ever loved the guys on a season of the Bachelorette more than I love these guys. I don’t know when it was exactly that Kirk became attractive, but I’m kind of in love. Just add him to the list…Chris L., Frank, Roberto, Ty, now Kirk. Sheesh. And to think they’re all wasted on this blonde extension wearing, hyena laughing, Jake loving Bachelorette.
This Blue Lagoon date was just unreal. I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life – I want to go there like asap. Meanwhile, poor Kirk, who’d already received a rose for the week, is stuck back at the Hilton with Kermit the Frog and the Wrestler, who are probably the only 2 guys left that I don’t like. Although Frank’s psycho tendencies really seem to be coming full swing, I’m willing to stick with him if Ali does.
OK did you all watch last season’s Bachelorette? Do you remember the one time they showed a volcano on that season? It was kind of an awful director’s decision that was just so awful it left you feeling a little stunned, a little dirty, and just a little bit stupid. Anyway, I couldn’t stop thinking of that every time we saw a volcano on tonight’s episode and there were so many, it got to the point I was laughing out loud at pretty much nothing. And then I was laughing out loud at Kasey and his tattoo. He got a freaking tattoo. Does he know TV isn’t real? I mean geez dude. A tattoo. On your wrist. Of a rose. But kudos to Ali who had the guts to dump him a good ten minutes after he showed that thing off. And not only dump him, but leave him on top of the Icelandic volcano. The only way she could’ve done better is if she would’ve left “Rated R” up there too.
I loved her rose ceremony dress. Loveddddd it. Like, I want it. Let’s not forget the best thing about Ali as the Bachelorette: she’s got great boots. And now, she’s got a great dress. So she’s growing on me a little. Just a little.
And who the crap is Chris N.? Poor fella. Constantly looks like a dear in the headlights, so it was not surprising when he was the second one sent home this evening.
Chris Harrison totally rocked that black and white checked tie, yes? Dude knows what’s up. And did you SEE those lamps behind them in the interview?? They’re from IKEA! Go figure, IKEA stuff in Iceland.
But from the looks of next week’s episode, this whole evening was just one big trailer setting up to the big showdown. It’s Ali v. Vienna Round II, except this time she’s going up against the bachelor who has a girlfriend at home. Drama! I’ll be somewhere between Charleston, SC (home of Roberto!!), Winston-Salem, NC, Virginia Beach, and DC, but you know I’m making time for this stuff!
blowin through the jasmine in my mind June 16, 2010Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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First of all, my apologies for completely missing The Bachelorette this week. Well, I didn’t miss it, I just didn’t blog it. Honestly, the more I thought about it, it just came down to this: I’m not a big Ali fan, and I’m a huge fan of about 3/4 of the guys in the house. Chris L. and his mom tattoo and family love…Kirk and his cuteness…Frank even in spite of his tendencies to be a little psycho….Ty and his accent….Roberto and his…everything. And because Ali is a moron, she’s going to end up with the genius who tattooed his wrist – his wrist – to prove to Ali he was being genuine.
And who is Chris N.? How does he keep getting roses, and I’ve never seen him before?
So I’ll blog through the whole next episode as the whole crew heads to Iceland. I really am loving this season – the guys that they’ve compiled really are a good group. I’m even gonna miss the weatherman just a little bit. But that all just makes me more excited for the new show – the Bachelor Pad!!!! OK while this could be just a minor step up from Big Brother, I really am pretty stoked because the cast was announced today, and I got a little giddy just reading through it. Not only is my favorite.bachelor.ever (Jesse from Jillian’s season) coming back, but so is Kiptyn! Kip! And Jesse from the current Bachelorette season (who, in a moment of genius, buzzed his hair and now looks about 89% better).
But that doesn’t start until the fall, so I wait. Impatiently. But I wait.
What I’m really excited about tonight, besides Jesse and Kiptyn, is the new show that premieres tonight – Hot in Cleveland. And yes, I am only watching because it’s based in Cleveland, but I am curious to see how my city is portrayed. I guess we’ll see! I will, of course, let you know.
summertime and the livin is easy June 7, 2010Posted by Meg C in Bachelor.
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Oh summer. I forget how much I love summer. Especially on cool nights like tonight when I can wear a hoodie without melting into a puddle on my carpeted kitchen floor. There’s so much more time in the summer to do things you want to do – learn how to make really good fudge (getting there), play the guitar more (pretty sure the neighbors are sick of it-gotta remember to close those windows), and watch TV you wouldn’t have time for the rest of the year, but suddenly it’s the most interesting thing you could do (The Next Food Network Star, for instance).
But of course, summer television also brings along with it everyone’s favorite reality romance television show – The Bachelorette!
Even though People magazine kind of ruined this season for me by running a story this past week so revealing it left me wondering if they weren’t supposed to run it until weeks later. Regardless, I hold out hope that those people at People don’t know what they’re talking about. And let’s be real – the odds are looking pretty much in my favor.
I’ll be honest – I’m easily distracted by bad hair. Which, I realize, is ironic given my mother’s genes and my life-sentence with these frizzy locks, but Alli’s extensions need some serious TLC.
I have a hard time trusting any man named ‘Roberto’, especially when his chosen career is an insurance agent, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fall in love with him after his one-on-one date with Alli. The “I want to give you something right now” line on the high wire, and then later, “I really hope I get to watch a lot more of these [sunsets] with you” made my heart skip a beat. Frank was so last week, not to mention maybe a little bit of a psychopath. Roberto is my guy.
And I haven’t been totally sold on Alli as the Bachelorette, but when she wanted to say “give me a kiss” to him in Spanish (his native tongue) and said, “ok this is probably going to be wrong, and I learned it from a rap song…” I was willing to see this season through. Well done, Blondie. Now, if we could do something about that nervous hyena laugh, we’d be sitting pretty.
OK so Kasey with a K (AKA Kermit the Frog) saying “I can’t believe their date will have something to do with music – I really wanted to show Alli my voice” made me howl. Like, I had to pause the TV.
And the weatherman. And the Frank slapping scene in the music video. And the “it was his first kiss with Alli, first kiss in a music video, first kiss…ever…” line. What this season lacks in a legit Bachelorette, it certainly makes up for it in humor. These guys are seriously funny this season.
Steve! Who is this Steve? Poor fellow didn’t even get a date this week. No love for the Clevelanders! No love at all.
So here’s my question: did this pro-wrestler dude really crutch his way to Alli’s place? Was that security guy allowed to tell him where to go? How far of a walk was it? I’m stymied. I don’t know whether to hate him or love him. I’m leaning toward hating him, though – I mean, he’s an entertainment wrestler.
I feel like Hunter is the type of guy who should do well with ladies in real life, but definitely not on this show. A little shy, a little southern charm, but no real spark there. But ooooh Alli with the ‘we would be great friends’ line was kind of a low blow. I had high hopes for this ‘at home’ date because Jillian’s date at her place with Kiptyn was pretty ridiculously awesome and I totally feel for good ol’ Kip right there. Too bad she ripped his heart out and stomped all over it by choosing that dude with the too-short shorts. GAH!
What was with the grim reaper coming to pick up Hunter’s luggage? Ten bucks says he had to keep his face hidden because he was actually Chris Harrison pulling double duty. Hey, the recession hit everyone – even the hills of LA.
*Sidenote: I’d like to share a text I just received from my good friend Julie, who will be braving more than 24 hours in a car with me in the coming weeks touring a good amount of the east coast. It read Meg…roberto is from charleston, sc. Let’s hope alli dumps him so we can pick him up at the beach. I’m glad I have friends who share my feelings.*
*Sidenote #2: Why is Alli wearing a wedding dress to the rose ceremony? Is she that anxious? And why is she wearing an ugly wedding dress?*
Oh Steve from Cleveland, ya gotta be able to open a freaking champagne bottle. I was a little embarrassed for the dude. But I think he handled it as well as he could have. Unfortunately, you can add Alli to the list of Cleveland haters since she gave him the boot. In addition, in a surpise to no one, she gave the 57 year old (what? he’s 32? bull.) the heave-ho.
Well, there it is. It’s only just begun, my friends. Hang on!