summertime and the livin is easy

Oh summer.  I forget how much I love summer.  Especially on cool nights like tonight when I can wear a hoodie without melting into a puddle on my carpeted kitchen floor.  There’s so much more time in the summer to do things you want to do – learn how to make really good fudge (getting there), play the guitar more (pretty sure the neighbors are sick of it-gotta remember to close those windows), and watch TV you wouldn’t have time for the rest of the year, but suddenly it’s the most interesting thing you could do (The Next Food Network Star, for instance). 

But of course, summer television also brings along with it everyone’s favorite  reality romance television show – The Bachelorette!

Even though People magazine kind of ruined this season for me by running a story this past week so revealing it left me wondering if they weren’t supposed to run it until weeks later.  Regardless, I hold out hope that those people at People don’t know what they’re talking about.  And let’s be real – the odds are looking pretty much in my favor.

I’ll be honest – I’m easily distracted by bad hair.  Which, I realize, is ironic given my mother’s genes and my life-sentence with these frizzy locks, but Alli’s extensions need some serious TLC.

I have a hard time trusting any man named ‘Roberto’, especially when his chosen career is an insurance agent, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fall in love with him after his one-on-one date with Alli.  The “I want to give you something right now” line on the high wire, and then later, “I really hope I get to watch a lot more of these [sunsets] with you”  made my heart skip a beat.  Frank was so last week, not to mention maybe a little bit of a psychopath.  Roberto is my guy.

And I haven’t been totally sold on Alli as the Bachelorette, but when she wanted to say “give me a kiss” to him in Spanish (his native tongue) and said, “ok this is probably going to be wrong, and I learned it from a rap song…” I was willing to see this season through.  Well done, Blondie.  Now, if we could do something about that nervous hyena laugh, we’d be sitting pretty.

OK so Kasey with a K (AKA Kermit the Frog) saying “I can’t believe their date will have something to do with music – I really wanted to show Alli my voice”  made me howl.  Like, I had to pause the TV. 

And the weatherman.  And the Frank slapping scene in the music video.  And the “it was his first kiss with Alli, first kiss in a music video, first kiss…ever…” line.  What this season lacks in a  legit Bachelorette, it certainly makes up for it in humor.  These guys are seriously funny this season. 

Steve!  Who is this Steve?  Poor fellow didn’t even get a date this week.  No love for the Clevelanders!  No love at all.

So here’s my question:  did this pro-wrestler dude really crutch his way to Alli’s place?  Was that security guy allowed to tell him where to go?  How far of a walk was it?  I’m stymied.  I don’t know whether to hate him or love him.  I’m leaning toward hating him, though – I mean, he’s an entertainment wrestler.

I feel like Hunter is the type of guy who should do well with ladies in real life, but definitely not on this show.  A little shy, a little southern charm, but no real spark there.   But ooooh Alli with the ‘we would be great friends’ line was kind of a low blow.  I had high hopes for this ‘at home’ date because Jillian’s date at her place with Kiptyn was pretty ridiculously awesome and I totally feel for good ol’ Kip right there.  Too bad she ripped his heart out and stomped all over it by choosing that dude with the too-short shorts.  GAH! 

What was with the grim reaper coming to pick up Hunter’s luggage?  Ten bucks says he had to keep his face hidden because he was actually Chris Harrison pulling double duty.  Hey, the recession hit everyone – even the hills of LA.

*Sidenote:  I’d like to share a text I just received from my good friend Julie, who will be braving more than 24 hours in a car with me in the coming weeks touring a good amount of the east coast.  It read Meg…roberto is from charleston, sc.  Let’s hope alli dumps him so we can pick him up at the beach.  I’m glad I have friends who share my feelings.*

*Sidenote #2: Why is Alli wearing a wedding dress to the rose ceremony?  Is she that anxious?  And why is she wearing an ugly wedding dress?*

Oh Steve from Cleveland, ya gotta be able to open a freaking champagne bottle.  I was a little embarrassed for the dude.  But I think he handled it as well as he could have.  Unfortunately, you can add Alli to the list of Cleveland haters since she gave him the boot.  In addition, in a surpise to no one, she gave the 57 year old (what? he’s 32?  bull.) the heave-ho. 

Well, there it is.  It’s only just begun, my friends.  Hang on!